Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Some Things That I Hate More Than Anything

I'm up late due to a precious child of mine who refuses to go back to sleep. It's 1:15AM. I need to be up at 7:15AM to get my daughter ready and off to school. I'm grumpy, I'm tired, and I've got a cold. And I feel like complaining. A few posts ago, I talked about some things that I love. So in the spirit of being in a foul mood, here's a post about things that I really, really dislike.

1) Canned email support responses. On top of shitty customer support, this makes my inner beast explode from the inside the Hulk. Except my alter-ego monster is red. I know, red is such a typical color for anger. I can't help what color my beast skin is, so stop being racist.

For example, recently I've been dealing with a little problem with eBay. I spent several minutes of my day typing out a well thought out, detailed email describing the problem. Since you know, nobody can help you out unless they know exactly what the issue is. Four days pass, and finally: a response. Oh, what do you know? It's a canned "support" message that doesn't even address my specific problem. So I did what any rational person would do...I sent back a snarky response and threatened to blog about it and take down their entire empire with my massive Internet army. All 59 of you, and Red, my angry monster alter-ego.

2) People who drive with their blinkers on with no intention of turning. I think I literally start to go insane when I'm stuck driving behind one of these idiots.

3) Simple grammatical and punctuation errors. And by simple, I mean when adults make errors that my 7 year old knows better than making. Like confusing your/you're, they're/their/there. Or adding an unnecessary apostrophe like I'm about to here: "Reading Book's Make's You Smart". Thing's like this basically make me want to stab my eye's out. I don't know why it bothers me so much...I don't think people who make these mistakes are stupid (most of them aren't, anyway), but I have to say that I feel a little disappointed in them when they butcher their own language in such a way.

4) People who pull a stop and chat in grocery store aisles. Bllleeeeeerrrrrggggggg! I don't understand why people think this is okay. I see it happen nearly every time I go to the grocery store, especially when it's very busy and there already is barely any room to maneuver shopping carts around safely.

Bonus: I hate the words uber, touché, and the phrase "I digress". I also think that people with too many tattoos are obnoxious, especially if they have tattoos of dragons and skulls. Oh, and I hate t-shirts that have wings or any sort of spanning tribal design over the chest. On the back is okay...but the chest...ugh.

So I guess if you really wanted to ruin my day, you could drive ahead of me with your blinker on, be covered in tattoos and wear one of those hideous shirts, then angle your shopping cart in front of me and stop to have a long conversation with somebody while I'm walking down the aisle at the store. And then, when I email you to complain about all of this, don't address my concerns at all but be sure to include grammatical and punctuation errors...and throw in some words and phrases that I can't stand.


Jon Paul on March 10, 2010 at 11:32 AM said...

Awesome! We could totally take down Ebay too. I'm just sayin'.

Here was the paragraph where I was gonna make every silly mistake you've pointed out, but you've already done it, so I won't digress.

There's a little something for you over at my place, BTW. Enjoy!

Rachel on March 11, 2010 at 10:54 AM said...

I will let you know if I need to assemble and deploy the troops against eBay.

Also, don't ever use that word again (digress) on my blog or I will think of some sort of consequence.

And thank you so much for the award!

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