Monday, April 5, 2010

Talking about Jesus in my Guinness Shirt



There is a woman with a thick accent that has been stopping by my door lately.  It's 9:30AM and the bell rings.  Nobody ever comes at this hour in the morning.  I thought it was going to be one of the handymen for another annoying routine maitenance check-up.  My peephole is obscured by a spring decoration hanging on the door, so I peered out the window and saw a woman's rear dressed in a long, flowery skirt. 

I open the door and I see my middle-aged friend with another woman (skirted lady).  She shoves a booklet in my hand, I look over my shoulder nervously at my two boys...running around naked in their diapers sagging with urine.  They had just woken up, and I hadn't changed them yet.  I kept glancing over my shoulder, I didn't want to be rude and slam the door in their face or say I didn't have time, but shit, those diapers really needed to be changed.

The woman with the accent then asks me if I think Jesus is the world's greatest hero.  And I nod my head in agreement "Yes, yes, of course."  I say.  She then proceeds to open her Bible and read a verse to me.  She asks me if I own a Bible.  I tell her yes, I have one on my Kindle.  Which wasn't a lie, I do...but mostly I use it for reference (lately, I've been using it to try to figure out the TV show LOST) and not for spiritual purposes.  I also wouldn't disagree with Jesus being a hero.  I believe that he was a real man in history, that did good things for people and encouraged them to live with morality.  Kind of like Mother Theresa.  I don't believe in the crazier parts of the Jesus story.

I believe in God.  But I don't consider myself a Christian...or a Jew, or anything else.  If I had to align myself with any church or religious group, it would be the Unitarian Universalists. 

Anyway, she thanks me for my time and I thank her for stopping by.  I say "oh, I have a question.  Where are you from?  ....your accent...?"  She laughs and says "Oh, I'm from Finland!"  I smile and say "Oh neat, I'm Norwegian."  She tells me Norway is the most beautiful country she's ever been to.  Then we smile and nod at eachother through an awkward moment.  She takes a long look at my green Guinness Draught shirt, and I suddenly feel self-conscious.  "Well...goodbye."  I say.  "Have a good afternoon!"  the women reply in unison.  And they were on their way.

8 comments:

Postman on April 5, 2010 at 12:32 PM said...

Bound to happen on occasion. Excellent story. I dare you to meet the next Jehovah's Witness at the door with a bloody knife in your hand and say "Could you come back later? We're not through with the virgin yet."

Jerry on April 5, 2010 at 6:07 PM said...

Awkward moment indeed. The one person I hate to open a door to is one with a Bible...or a Book of Mormon...in their hand. While I respect their commitment and belief, ringing my doorbell will never catch me in the frame of mind for serious, and non-awkward discussion.

Did you know that you have 68 Followers? That's a lot. You now have 69. I'm sorry.

Regards,

Jerry

Rachel on April 5, 2010 at 9:56 PM said...

Postman - I will keep that in mind. There is a Jehovah church literally 2 blocks away from me, so it's only a matter of time until I'm paid a visit.

Jerry - I actually have no problem with people stopping by in such a way...not that I am going to join their church/religion, but I love talking to people and just hearing them out. It's only when they come at a very inconvenient time that it bothers me...and today, while it was a very inconvenient time indeed, I was still amused because I was wearing the Guinness shirt.

69: one of those taboo numbers. I'll be more impressed if I ever get 420 followers.

Wow, that was awkward on April 6, 2010 at 5:17 PM said...

I am impressed you use the bible to figure out LOST. I hadn't thought of that, but it doesn't matter since I don't have a bible. I just watch every week and marvel that they can still introduce new characters.

I was going to follow you, but I don't want to screw up that 69 thing mentioned above. I'll wait til I can be #71.

Rachel on April 6, 2010 at 5:44 PM said...

Awkward - I'm pretty sure much of the final explanation of Lost will have something to do with the Bible. There are so many references, I don't see how it wouldn't.

Trust me, I won't hold it against you if you become #70, I'm not a huge fan of 69 anyway. It's better to concentrate your energy on one thing or the other. And, for the record, 420 isn't a sacred number for me either...I would just be impressed if I end up with that many followers someday.

Thanks for stopping by! I love your blog.

Wow, that was awkward on April 6, 2010 at 6:36 PM said...

Done.

I am def not '420 friendly' so I'm with you there. And as for the other number, I think it is a bit over rated. So I think we are in cahoots.

Beth@The Stories of A to Z on April 7, 2010 at 1:50 PM said...

LOL :). I'm a Christian. I drink. My hubby has a Guinness t-shirt. And although I love Jesus, read my Bible, and use it beyond Lost, I can't stand people at my door trying to talk to me either. It's awkward and annoying and it can't be effective.

Katie Fallecker on April 7, 2010 at 4:20 PM said...

interesting story! I don't identify with any group..i'm just kind of there not believing or disbelieving...if that makes sense!

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