Saturday, April 10, 2010

Lost and Found

My husband is constantly losing or forgetting things.  And I don't mean that this happens occasionally, it's as if he perpetually suffers from a chronic case of early onset Alzheimer's.  So when I got a phone call from him at 5AM this morning, I wasn't the least bit surprised.  He had forgotten his military ID after he was already 45 minutes into his 2 hour drive to Air Force Reserve drill.  Not only had he forgotten it, but he had no idea where he had put it.  The other day he had taken it out of his wallet to go on the nearby Navy base to use the gym.  Thankfully, I found it almost instantly, on top of the TV in our bedroom.

Since this type of thing typically happens several times per week, I've become so accustomed to searching for things that I normally just crack a joke about how I honestly have no idea how he ever made it through life before he had me to help him find his shit.  But at 5 o'clock in the morning, I'm a little less amused by his antics.  Also when, a couple weeks ago, he was frantically searching for his shoe polish and recruited my help while LOST was on (which is really the only time every week when I demand silence and complete avoidance of distractions).  Oh, the cruel irony.

The worst part about that was that I was constantly moving his shoe polishing kit up into his closet.  He had been leaving it behind a bookshelf in our room, and everytime I moved it I nagged that he really needed to keep it case one of the kids finds it and gets into it.  Well, guess who was right?  Men, this is exactly why you must listen to your women. 

He forgets things so often, that I told him that I'm going to have a custom notepad made for him.  You know those pre-printed shopping checklists that you can buy, the ones that have food items that nearly everybody regularly purchases on routine stops at the supermarket...eggs, milk, bread?  Well, I plan on having something similar printed for him, except that every page will have a list of everything he needs to bring with him daily to work.  Radio, gun, cuffs, badge, etc.  I wasn't fully joking.  I am seeing a serious need for this. 

I just don't understand it!  It's not that our home is a mess, or that he's disorganized or irresponsible.  After being in the military for six years, he's developed some nearly OCD habits when it comes to his possessions.  He's always had a little box that he keeps in his closet on the shelf where he puts his small but important things.  But sometimes, he sets things down somewhere without thinking about it...and then, it's either gone forever or at least until I can find it for him.  He's lucky that I'm always pretty good at finding stuff.

It's even a little fun sometimes.  There's nothing like searching for something, and the thrill you get when you finally find it.  It's a little adrenaline rush:  some people need to go skydiving to get their kicks...but for now, I'll just stick to random routine find-the-lost-thing hunts around the house.


Anonymous said...

There was a comedian once that said her husband must think her uterus is a tracking devise cuz he is always asking her to find his shit. LOL


Rachel on April 10, 2010 at 7:40 PM said...

That's a good line, Vicki, I will need to keep it in mind for the next time he loses something (which will inevitably be within the next few days!)

Katie Fallecker on April 10, 2010 at 7:46 PM said...

I definitely have wondered the same thing over the years-how on earth my husband ever survived before he met me haha. Guess they are luckier to have us than they will ever know!

Jerry on April 11, 2010 at 1:31 PM said...

We found a great big blue ashtray that resides atop my dresser...which went a long way toward solving my lost car keys, wallet, work ID card and assorted miscellany that I was always losing. As soon as I get home from work I dump everything in there.

We have a DVR on which Lost is recorded. Since I am the only one that watches is (Lost in 'Lost'), I am up at 5:00 a.m. every Saturday morning so I can watch in peace.

Cheryl Widell said...

I think that's just men in general! Ed is always losing the tweezers and his clothes. Yes, he SERIOUSLY asks me if he has any clean shirts and socks. I always tell him they're in the drawer, and everyday, he STILL asks me.

tasteofbeirut on April 12, 2010 at 12:00 AM said...

My (ex) husband used to lose things too; however he'd always blame me and say (whatever it was) "I put it in the freezer"
Glad that's over! Ten years plus of happiness!

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