Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I Love Hotels, Lost, and Beer.

I drove two hours to Chicopee, Massachusetts yesterday evening to spend a little kid-free time with my husband, who is away for the week for Air Force Reserve drills.  The military puts him up in a Hampton Inn when he's called away, so we spent the night out at dinner, then snuggled and watched Family Guy on the HD TV while playing Jenga and drinking beers for about 3 hours before he passed out.  I layed in bed and started a book my new e-friend "Awkward" recommended to me called City of Thieves (which I am thoroughly enjoying so far). When it was 1:30AM and very much so time to pass out, I ended up heading over to the second queen bed...because my husband is a selfish, evil bed stealer and always makes his way into the very center of the mattress.  I'm somebody who needs a lot of room to myself when I'm trying to sleep.  I love to cuddle when I'm awake, but when I'm trying to sleep I need my own space so GTFO.

The ride home today was pretty uneventful...other than the time when I was coming off one highway to switch to another and to my dismay there was only about 300 feet before the entrance to the next highway, and whoever designed those roads decided that that amount of notice was sufficient to clear 4 lanes of highway to get to the other side and onto the ramp in time.  I cleared 3/4, and was trying to make my move onto the ramp when this deep red SUV took its time and didn't speed up or slow down to let me in, and they went happily on their way onto the next highway while I helplessly continued on the same one until I could get off and turn around.  Before we departed completely though, the strong urge to flip off the other driver consumed me.  But then I realized that it wasn't entirely their fault.  They were, afterall, driving a reasonable speed and it wouldn't be fair of me to expect them to slam on their brakes to let me in ahead of them.  They probably weren't the idiot engineers who designed the road.  So instead, I stared the driver down and shook my fist at him.  He stared back for a moment with his lips slightly parted and his face frozen in shock.

When I was about an hour away from home, I noticed a car parked on the side of the highway with its emergency blinkers on.  Beside it, was a man (or a short haired woman) kneeling before two crosses with huge displays of flowers...the one on the left was a smaller cross, and had a teddy bear placed lovingly beside it.  "Oh, God.  Oh, my God."  I said to myself aloud, "That's so sad."  And then I started crying.  Which is not a great thing to do when you're flying down the highway at 75 miles per hour.  And then I changed the song on my iPod, because I quickly decided that "I Like to F*ck" by Tila Tequila and Hot Rod was grotesquely inappropriate for the situation. 

I arrived back in town and swung by the drive-through liquor store (a blessing from God, I say) for a 6 pack of Miller Light to enjoy during Lost tonight (and also to drown away my lonliness).  The young gentleman at the register was a Tom Green look-a-like that I recognized because on my birthday I had gone in to buy some spirits and he remarked that it was his birthday too, and did I know that October 5th is the most common birthday in the world?  Indeed, I did not.  And when I got home, I Googled it, because my husband said the guy only said that because he was hitting on me.  Well, it turns out that it's a true fact.  It's speculated that Oct. 5th is the most common day for babies to be born, because it's approximately 40 weeks after New Years.  So I suppose we all can guess when and why I came into existence.

The employee looked at my identification and said "Oh my God!...that's my birthday..." "I know," I interrupted, "you were the one who told me our birthday is the most common in the world.  I went home and Googled it, and you're right!"  Then he said how he knows 6 people that share our special day, and I said I knew none.  "Well...now you do." he said as he smiled and handed me my receipt.


Jeanine Rhea on April 14, 2010 at 1:31 AM said...

For the record - Yes my darling daughter, you are correct. You were a New Years baby. However, it wasn't New Year's Eve Dec 31st, it was New Year's Day night Jan 1st (of 1984 obviously!). I know that for sure. In fact, believe it or not, I was actually there to witness your conception!

Katie Fallecker on April 14, 2010 at 9:37 AM said...

I hate driving, but the thought of you shaking your fist at someone while driving will probably make me laugh the next time I'm driving on an insane road around here. That's hilarious haha.

Wow, that was awkward on April 14, 2010 at 12:15 PM said...

Have you ever lost love drinking beer in a hotel?

That is Mr. Awkward to you, pal. Or Mr. Wow sounds a little more exciting.

Rachel on April 14, 2010 at 8:22 PM said...

I can't say that I have.

And, my deepest apologies, Mr. Wow. I have posted an editorial revision. I hope that will be sufficient.

Lanie Ree on April 15, 2010 at 1:02 PM said...

I am identifying with your need for space when you sleep. I'm always waking up to shove Kurt back to his side of the bed.

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