You don't own alarm clock, alarm clock owns you.

I just tested out my brand new Sonic BOOM Alarm Clock (while already awake) and I have to say, I'm feeling confident about this one. I'm assuming this product was originally designed to wake the dead deaf, considering that not only is it SUPER loud (the maximum volume has higher decibels than a jackhammer), but it also comes with a nifty vibrating attachment that you're supposed to place under your mattress or pillow...and it shakes the hell out of you until you wake up. (Personally I would avoid putting it under my pillow since even through a 4 inch memory foam pad the vibrations are surprisingly strong. I might worry about possible brain damage if placed too close to the head.)

You see, I am the kind of person who can literally sleep through an earthquake (true story). I've slept through smoke detectors going off (bad news for me should I ever find myself alone in the house while sleeping during a fire). My attempts to wake up earlier than normal are futile, I set several alarms to go off at different times and I sleep through them all. And not only am I nearly impossible to wake up, but I am also the definition of "not a morning person".

I bought the alarm after searching for "loudest alarm clock" and read the rave reviews from people who were also difficult to rouse. I take the alarm for my first official test run tomorrow morning. I'll keep my empty audience updated on the result.