I was all pumped up and ready to go when I made my last post. I told myself "I'm going to post every day like I used to! I still have so much to talk about! I have so many stories saved up!" But one fateful day soon after I made my comeback post, I fell ill.
So I've been laying around, listening to Sarah's Key on audiobook...which it turns out is very, very depressing so far. And then I told myself that of course it's going to be depressing, it's about the Holocaust. But then I found myself angry with the author: it's not a true story, so why be so brutal? Why can't anything actually go right in this story? Will there be some sort of happy ending? I like happy endings. And then I told myself to shut up because most real life Holocaust victims didn't have happy endings.
When I'm not listening to the book, I'm ordering from a pizza place just so that I can get milk delivered since I am too sick to pack everybody into the car and go get it myself. "I have a really weird question for you," I said to the thick-accented Italian man on the other end of the phone, "would it be possible for you to send me, like, just a gigantic cup of milk?" Of course I asked this after I ordered some actual food. For a reason I still don't understand, he handed off the phone to an equally accented woman who asked if I would mind if the driver picked up a gallon from CVS Pharmacy. I said of course not and that I would be eternally grateful.
The delivery man showed up here about 20 minutes later and handed me my sandwich and "mac n cheese bites". I said "where my mo'fo milk, man?" and he said "I don't know dawg, they wrote milk here on the receipt but never told me to pick any up, but I can go get some if you want, homez" and I said "Fo real man, I'd 'preciate it."
So he came back another 10 minutes later with my milk and I gave him a $10 tip for his time. Though $4 of it was to cover the milk.
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