Friday, May 7, 2010

Orlistat = Butt Grease = Skinny!

A few years back, I stopped eating chips that were made with Olestra, because I discovered that they make your bowel movements greasy.  I never experienced it personally, because I never had the notion to eat an entire bag of chips in one sitting, but I had read an excellent (and hilarious) experiment about it by a Zug contributer named John Hargrave.

Recently I've been more careful about what I eat, not dieting, just not going to Taco Bell and eating five 5 layer burritos every day.  I thought I was getting away with all of the burritos for awhile.  "HA!"  I yelled while shaking my fist at a pile of empty burrito wrappers, "you got nothin on this!"  Then I gave my booty a smack.

The burritos finally caught up with me.

So lately I've been trying to do some last-minute damage control so that I can actually wear my bikini without shame to the beach this summer. 

Anyway, I find it ironic that I once tried to avoid excess fat being expelled from my body in a way that is too graphic to discuss in such a public forum.  And now I take these pills called Alli that do just that.  And let me tell you, it's amazing, people.  The drugs prevent your body from absorbing all of the fat that you eat.  While I haven't been eating anything extremely fattening anyway, you're supposed to take one anytime you eat anything that has fat in it.  Grilled chicken?  Little blue pill on the side.  Whole grain spagetti with lean turkey burger meatballs?  Little blue pill please.   Yep, there are now two "little blue pills" that I am aware of.  Though I only have use for one of them.

I've already shed some of that excess pudge after a week of avoiding Taco Bell, and cheese in general.  I really have a problem with cheese.  Most people have food vices that involve junk foods:  chips, cake, ice cream, candy...I've never been somebody who has to cram plain crap down my neck, I never really had taste buds for those foods anyway unless it's that special time of the month.  But if I could throw a few cups of cheese on everything without consequence, I would be one happy lady.

Technically I guess I shouldn't really be using these pills, seeing as the indications instruct their usage is only for overweight people...which I am not.  But after reading reviews it appears as though plenty of non-overweight people take them, and hey, sometimes you must follow the flock of bikini-ready bodies.  

Never have I touched diet pills before.  To be honest, I'm afraid of most of them.  I don't even like the jittery feeling drinking too much coffee can give you...I can't imagine taking something that strains your heart like that and gives you the shakes and sends your heart racing.  But this Alli, I can fully stand behind.  It's gross, interesting, and effective all at once.


Dazee Dreamer on May 7, 2010 at 2:58 PM said...

Wow, I don't ever get jittery drinking coffee. I can even drink it before bed and still sleep like a rock (cuz we all know, if you sleep like a baby, you definitely are not sleeping :)

Rachel on May 7, 2010 at 3:08 PM said...

I have found that I need to pace myself with coffee or I feel like I'm about to jump out of my body. I normally drink a 4 oz glass in the morning, and them maybe one more later on in the day if I want or need it.

I've never handled excessive caffeine well.

Wow, that was awkward on May 7, 2010 at 4:32 PM said...

I'm eating Skittles again today. Two out of three days. They look like blue pills. Although they are green, yellow, red, orange and purple. And I had Mexican for lunch. I didn't have them hold the cheese.

Crap (non greasy). I'm gonna have to work out a little extra this weekend...

mikelle on May 9, 2010 at 2:46 AM said...

Hello I wish you nice weekend

Rachel on May 11, 2010 at 7:24 PM said...

As far as Skittles go, I only will eat the red ones. I wish they sold them in bags of one color...kind of like Jelly Bellies are sold as a mix, but you can also buy the individual flavors.

Mikelle - thanks! I hope you had a great weekend.

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