Life: Winter 2010-Fall 2012...PART ONE

Okay here we go...

As you will remember, my hubbers left for Afghanistan in September of 2010.  It sucked.  Life was hard for a while.  I cried a lot.  But slowly, things became easier.  Winter came (my favorite, favorite time of the year!) and it started to snow (my favorite type of precipitation).  Watching my kids have fun in it was a major source of joy in my life.  They played in the backyard...

We went sledding...

I even enrolled the boys into indoor soccer to pass some time.  Johnny took to it like a champ:

 Hayden, not so much...

 He preferred to sit on my lap.

(We've since tried several times to encourage him to play, but after this year's fall soccer flop, we've conceded that he just isn't into sports lol).

Eventually Christmas was finally here!

My kids made sure to keep my hands occupied while my husband was away...

(the culprit)

I got a creepy dog to keep me company...

Okay, he can be cute too.

But this certainly isn't cute:

I made my son a shitty Darth Vader cake for his birthday (hey, I tried!)

 But at least it was made of rainbows...

Then finally, the month after the shitty cake, my husband came home.

So we went to Disney World!

The best part:

 

We also went to some other places during that trip. One of my favorites was the Airborne and Special Ops museum in Fayetteville, NC.  They don't allow flash photography so the crappy cellphone pics will have to suffice.

We went to the Jamestown Settlement in Virginia...

And walked around Philadelphia for a while:

After our vacation, my husband returned to work after a couple weeks.  Life became normal again, we happily adapted to our routine way of life.  We spent the summer at home mostly, occasionally having family over for cookouts and the normal summertime activities.  We went camping in the White Mountains in New Hampshire and thoroughly enjoyed it.  

Which brings us to fall/winter of 2011, which I will need to continue tomorrow as a new post.  Goodnight! 

Life Got in the Way...

Wow.  It's been a while, huh guys?  If you even remember me...!

I kept resolving to start blogging again.  Something funny/weird/sad would happen to me, and I would think "I should write about this in my blog..." but I just kept putting it off.   Here's kinda how it went inside my neurotic head:  when I was writing often, I would feel like I was letting people down if I didn't update regularly.  So I got busy or maybe just didn't feel like writing one week, and then another for whatever reasons I had...then eventually it got to a point that it felt weird to come back because so much time had elapsed.  

The kids are older now too, and busier.  They've got school and friends and sports.  That certainly keeps me running around.  Oh yeah, and my husband came home (...a year and a half ago...) so I spend whatever time I can with him too since he has a crazy work schedule.  Blag blag excuse excuse...anyway!

I made some good blogger friends when I was active here, and every once in a while some of you still pop up into my head.  And today I was thinking about them (maybe even YOU!) a little more thoroughly and I started reading through some of my favorite blogger's sites, and it made me really sad that I've missed so much.  I'm going to try, really, to stick around and stop being so lazy.  I truly enjoy writing, and while I still do a lot of it privately offline...I so miss being part of the blog community.  I hope at least one of you missed me too.  :)

So I was just sitting here typing out a list of everything I've done during my extended absence and I realized that my everyday life is still pretty boring.  Have I accomplished anything since I wrote last?  Nah, not really.  Experienced anything noteworthy?  Yes, some things...but maybe not enough to write about.  So I think the easiest and most interesting way to catch you all up to my life in the past 1.5-2 years would be to make a photo post chronicling the most important events.  

I'm getting started as soon as I submit this post!  

Flat Tire. And not the awesome beer.

This morning, I woke up in a great mood.  Which is saying something, because I am definitely not a morning person and perpetually feel as though I haven't had enough sleep no matter what time I went to bed the night before.  I fixed my daughter's lunch, started the car early to warm up, then bundled all of the kids up and headed toward Teagan's school.

It wasn't apparent until I hit the main road.  Then I heard a constant grinding sound and felt my car's obvious struggle on the road, I briefly wondered if we were about to be suddenly engulfed in a fireball.  At the first side street I could find I pulled in and parked in front of an elderly care center...another car pulled in right after me and I reconsidered my stopping location.  I didn't want to be seen by anybody in my bra-less state, wearing plaid pajama pants with Walmart clog shoes and a lopsided ponytail.  But then I said "eff it" and got out to assess the vehicle.  I had hoped for something simple, like ice stuck over the wheels.  But as I made my way around to the other side of the car, the problem was quickly evident: a flat tire.

"Oh shit."  I stood and stared at it for a moment, then looked around at the houses of the neighborhood, willing a friendly neighbor out to solve the problem for me...trailer park fashion statement be damned.  I have never dealt with this in my life.  It was cold.  I was in my pajamas.  I had no gloves.  Even if I KNEW how to change a tire, it would be impossible to do so in this temperature without at least gloves.

So I did what any self-respecting person in a crisis does:  I cried for my mommy.  I got back in the car and speed-dialed my mom, waking her up at 6AM her time in Arizona.  "I have a crisis!" I explained.  I broke down in tears.  "I don't know what to do!"  I had asked if I could drive back to my house on the flat tire.  She advised me not to.  But after we went through my possible options:  "Do you have Triple A?" No.  "Is there a gas station close?"  Yes, but I don't have my cards or cash on  me.  "Do you know how to do it?"  No, and it's freezing, and I'm wearing my pajamas and I have no gloves.

We agreed that I must drive back home.  I put on my  hazard lights and crept along the main road back home, and felt victorious when I pulled back into my driveway.

But now I have different problems.  I've been trying to get ahold of my mother-in-law all day long.  To see if her AAA plan has the "help a friend" service...if she even has AAA anymore.  Or find out if she knows anybody who can come over and help me.  Or...at the very least, if she can help me since I have no idea what I'm doing.

I refuse to call a tow service or some other company.  The last time I had somebody come over for emergency assistance, it was when I locked myself out of this house a week after signing the closing paperwork.  I called a locksmith and that ended up costing me $67.  SIXTY-SEVEN DOLLARS.  For the man to drive down the street from their business location, and wiggle a wire in the door for literally 10 seconds.  Frankly, I'm not excited about the idea of paying somebody to change my tire for me when the cost will most likely be equally astronomical.

And then, AND THEN, even when we do get a tire on, my worries still aren't over.  The tire in the trunk is just a temporary.  So this means that I get to go buy a new tire very soon.  After Christmas, my wallet is still recovering from being beaten worse than a pinata filled with roofies at a frat party.

I'm afraid there is not going to be a completely happy resolution for this fiasco.

God might not want me to blog

I was all pumped up and ready to go when I made my last post.  I told myself "I'm going to post every day like I used to!  I still have so much to talk about!  I have so many stories saved up!"  But one fateful day soon after I made my comeback post, I fell ill. 

So I've been laying around, listening to Sarah's Key on audiobook...which it turns out is very, very depressing so far.  And then I told myself that of course it's going to be depressing, it's about the Holocaust.  But then I found myself angry with the author:  it's not a true story, so why be so brutal?  Why can't anything actually go right in this story?  Will there be some sort of happy ending?  I like happy endings.  And then I told myself to shut up because most real life Holocaust victims didn't have happy endings.

When I'm not listening to the book, I'm ordering from a pizza place just so that I can get milk delivered since I am too sick to pack everybody into the car and go get it myself.  "I have a really weird question for you," I said to the thick-accented Italian man on the other end of the phone, "would it be possible for you to send me, like, just a gigantic cup of milk?"  Of course I asked this after I ordered some actual food.  For a reason I still don't understand, he handed off the phone to an equally accented woman who asked if I would mind if the driver picked up a gallon from CVS Pharmacy.  I said of course not and that I would be eternally grateful.

The delivery man showed up here about 20 minutes later and handed me my sandwich and "mac n cheese bites".  I said "where my mo'fo milk, man?"  and he said "I don't know dawg, they wrote milk here on the receipt but never told me to pick any up, but I can go get some if you want, homez" and I said "Fo real man, I'd 'preciate it."

So he came back another 10 minutes later with my milk and I gave him a $10 tip for his time.  Though $4 of it was to cover the milk. 

I have MUCH to talk about!

I've been gone a long time, I know, I'm sorry.  But I promise, I'm going to be around for awhile from now on. Here's a tl;dr rundown of what I've been up to:

June - July: my husband and I were house hunting.  We looked at...I don't know, maybe about 15 houses in all.  We put offers in on 3 total.

The first, well it was a major fixer-upper.  It was a ranch-style house that clearly hadn't been updated since the 70's.  But it had a nice, spacious, fenced-in backyard and was right on a quiet cul-de-sac in a great neighborhood.  We offered at asking price, but the lady just didn't seem to be ready to let go of it...it was her mother's house, who had just passed on.  

The second house was also nice, although it was pretty small.  We loved that it had a fireplace in the livingroom and a finished basement.  The downside was that it had endured a little bit of flood damage with the Great Rhode Island Floods of '10, but honestly we were sick of looking and said the house was good enough for us.  Our offer was outbid by somebody else.

We were ready to give up hope.  We were really crunched for time, and wanted to have a house before my husband left (explanation below).  But we pushed on and decided to go for one more round of walk-throughs.  The moment I walked into the house, I fell in love with it.  It smelled new, with fresh paint and new wood flooring...but the house is over a hundred years old.  It's got beautiful original woodwork throughout.  It's pretty big, at almost 2000 sq ft.   After our first tour around, we came back into the mudroom and I told my husband "you do whatever you can to get me this house.  I HAVE to have this house!"

It had only been on the market for 4 days, and we were offering less than the asking price, so it would take a miracle to get it.  I prayed and prayed all day.  I felt nauseous I was so nervous.  The sellers accepted our offer that night.

So, my dream house also became our first house.  No starter home necessary.  Unfortunately, closing took a bit longer than expected so I moved in by myself...since my husband had gone by then.  We were living in hotels for 3 weeks, as our lease was up at the townhome we were renting.  It seems like that might be a luxurious way to live...but with three kids and a cat in one room with two beds, it wasn't.  I finally signed the paperwork and got my keys on September 16th.  I spent the first few nights on an AeroBed set up in the dining room.

September 5th - My husband got shipped off to Afghanistan.  You see, when he first got out of the military almost two years ago, he was briefly unemployed before getting hired by the police department.  During that time, he had joined the Air Force Reserves for the extra $400 a month, he was told he could get out before his contract was up.  Well, recruiters lie.  Big surprise.  So long story short, about 12 people in his unit became active and now he's over there until the spring of '11.


That's him on the far left.   It was really hard at first.  The kids cried every day.  I cried every day.  We worried about him.  I still cry sometimes.  Sometimes, it still feels like more than I can bear.  But I find it a blessing that I had this new house to buy things for, the holidays, and the kids to shop for...I signed the kids up for an asinine amount of activities to keep us all busy (scouts, sports, etc), and I've been going to the gym regularly to keep my spirits up.  I live 10 minutes away from my mother-in-law, so she watches the kids a few times a week so I can run errands and just have some time to myself.  Which really helps.  I can't wait for him to come home.

 This was taken the day he left at a USO family send-off

I'm glad to be back to my blog.  I always found blogging therapeutic.  I think I'll stick around.

LOST finale...

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(head banging keyboard).

Jesus Bunny Thumb Print

As you can see, I have been lacking time (and blogable material) lately.  Last night, mom encouraged me to post a new entry concerning an awkward family moment...which I will be doing  hopefully later tonight.  But for now, I bring you this:

8th Grader Finds Jesus on Thumb While Doing Science Project?

Here is the image from the article:

But to me, it's obviously The Easter Bunny:

But I suppose it's just as well, since both Jesus and the Easter Bunny have a lot to do with Easter, right???

FYI!

I just ordered my first food dehydrator.  Watch out world, I'm about to start drying shit to eat. 

BP Beauty Queen

It seems as though the days when I make absolutely no effort to make myself presentable are the times that I get noticed more often by the opposite gender.  Today I went to the gas station to run in quickly and buy milk and some snacky-snacks to surprise the the hubs with for him to enjoy during his shift tonight.

My hair was unfixed, still up in the bun I had put it up in last night before I went to bed, complete with fly-aways and messy bangs.  No make-up, my house/crafting jeans that have Mod Podge stains all over them (and I have to wear a long shirt with them because the zipper never stays put...but I can't part with them because they are so comfy, my absolute faves).  And a black v-neck sweater that could seriouly use a meeting with one of those little sweater fuzz vacuums.

So I'm standing at the counter paying for my shiz and this handsome black guy walks up behind me and says "Excuse me princess, you've got some lint stuck to your sweater" and then he reaches over and pulls off...a little shard of toilet paper that was stuck to my back.  I guess it's better than TP stuck to your ass or shoe.  I thanked him and turned to go, and as I walked out he says "you have a great day, beautiful."  Then a group of guys were standing around outside and said "damn, how about her?"  Which, I assumed they meant in a complimentary way, but I can't be absolutely sure.  Maybe they were saying "Damn.  What about her?" as they were in the middle of discussing the most homely looking women they've seen today.

I've talked about this with my mom and my best friend in the past.  We can't figure out if it really is that we do, in fact, get checked out more often when we're not all done up...or if it's just that we are much more aware of it because we're feeling self-concious about our appearance at the time. 

So guys:  do you prefer a woman without makeup?  Or is it just you don't like a lot of makeup?  Or is a woman just more approachable when she looks a little frazzled and "I don't give a crap today"? Is the "girl next door" look (in my case, quasi-homeless girl next door) sexier than the "night out" look?

Thinking of these things brings so many unanswered questions...and I think I have a pretty good understanding of men.  Is our preception of what we (as women) believe men find attractive scewed by what we see in magazines, through celebrities, etc etc?  Personally, I'm just really confused by the fact that I get more attention when I'm definitely not feeling sexy than when I've made the effort to look smokin'.  'Splain dis to me, Willis.

Orlistat = Butt Grease = Skinny!

A few years back, I stopped eating chips that were made with Olestra, because I discovered that they make your bowel movements greasy.  I never experienced it personally, because I never had the notion to eat an entire bag of chips in one sitting, but I had read an excellent (and hilarious) experiment about it by a Zug contributer named John Hargrave.

Recently I've been more careful about what I eat, not dieting, just not going to Taco Bell and eating five 5 layer burritos every day.  I thought I was getting away with all of the burritos for awhile.  "HA!"  I yelled while shaking my fist at a pile of empty burrito wrappers, "you got nothin on this!"  Then I gave my booty a smack.

The burritos finally caught up with me.

So lately I've been trying to do some last-minute damage control so that I can actually wear my bikini without shame to the beach this summer. 

Anyway, I find it ironic that I once tried to avoid excess fat being expelled from my body in a way that is too graphic to discuss in such a public forum.  And now I take these pills called Alli that do just that.  And let me tell you, it's amazing, people.  The drugs prevent your body from absorbing all of the fat that you eat.  While I haven't been eating anything extremely fattening anyway, you're supposed to take one anytime you eat anything that has fat in it.  Grilled chicken?  Little blue pill on the side.  Whole grain spagetti with lean turkey burger meatballs?  Little blue pill please.   Yep, there are now two "little blue pills" that I am aware of.  Though I only have use for one of them.

I've already shed some of that excess pudge after a week of avoiding Taco Bell, and cheese in general.  I really have a problem with cheese.  Most people have food vices that involve junk foods:  chips, cake, ice cream, candy...I've never been somebody who has to cram plain crap down my neck, I never really had taste buds for those foods anyway unless it's that special time of the month.  But if I could throw a few cups of cheese on everything without consequence, I would be one happy lady.

Technically I guess I shouldn't really be using these pills, seeing as the indications instruct their usage is only for overweight people...which I am not.  But after reading reviews it appears as though plenty of non-overweight people take them, and hey, sometimes you must follow the flock of bikini-ready bodies.  

Never have I touched diet pills before.  To be honest, I'm afraid of most of them.  I don't even like the jittery feeling drinking too much coffee can give you...I can't imagine taking something that strains your heart like that and gives you the shakes and sends your heart racing.  But this Alli, I can fully stand behind.  It's gross, interesting, and effective all at once.

Romeo & Juliet: First Grade Edition

My 7 year old daughter burst into the door yesterday announcing: "Mom!  I've found the boy that I am going to marry!" 

When I was little, I remember always being "boy crazy".  I never thought boys had cooties, I always had crushes, I have had boyfriends since the third grade.  But I don't ever recall planning my wedding out in intricate detail and picking husbands as my daughter does.

My daughter's new beau is a little black boy named Day-twan (sorry, I don't know how to spell it, and I WOULD say African American boy, but I have been informed that is not PC, because darker skinned people come from several countries.)  In fact, I wouldn't even point out his race if it weren't relevant to the story.  Read on.

So some little girls my daughter play with outside (who also happen to be black) brought their cousin over yesterday, and that was it for Teagan.  She was in love at first sight, and the two of them promised eachother to marry when they were grown up.  The only problems were their cousins, and my 4 year old son.  For whatever reason, Johnny (my son) didn't approve of the situation, and shrieked repeatedly "NO!  YOU CANNOT MARRY HIM UNTIL YOU GROW UP!  Stop talking about it!"  As for Dayton's cousins, they disagreed with the arrangement considerably as well. 

"She's a white girl.  You can't marry her!"  and "What would your mama say if you married her?"

These outbursts literally brought my daughter to tears when her object of affection finally gave in to the peer pressure and it was decided that it would be best if they didn't marry.  But apparently, he whispered in her ear that he would be back to visit her next Sunday, secretly.  Forbidden love.  Sometimes, there is nothing so toxic yet so sweet simultaneously. 

---

Social commentary:  It's sad that racism starts so young.  Racism does not exist solely as white people discriminating against other races.  I experienced this personally when I attended high school in Albuquerque, New Mexico as, believe it or not, a minority (being a white person amongst mostly Hispanics).  I experienced racism against myself many times.  And the fact that the tendancies are being ingrained by parents into their children so early on...with 7 year olds...well, it really pisses me off.

Dumb things I've Learnt About Life Through Myself or Vicariously Through Other People, Part 1

On Alcohol

- It is hardly ever a good idea to have your cell phone on you when you are intoxicated.  Either you'll lose it, break it, or even worse, you'll call or text people ridiculous things that you will curse yourself for later.

- Do not mix hard liquor and wine in the same night.

- If you can hardly stand straight, then do not stand.  You might fall through a glass coffee table and lacerate your butt.

- Don't drive after drinking.  Period.

- Don't play pool for money against intoxicated people who also happen to be insane.  They might try to slit your throat with a hunting knife in the parking lot after they lose.

- If you are at a small bar in a small predominately Caucasian town in Wisconsin that decides to host a regional rap-off, there will probably be a huge mob bar fight against the races that involves stools and mugs being hurled through the air.

- Do not ride in taxi cabs with insane drivers.  Last weekend, a friend and I had two psycho drivers in one night after bar close.  The first became irate after we told him he brought us to the completely wrong address, in an entirely different neighborhood and began swerving around residential streets and corners at 50MPH.  We yelled at him to pull over and let us out in some random, unknown part of town.  We found another cab.  The second instigated a screaming match between himself and myself when I pointed out that he was completely ignoring me when I was trying to chat him up.  My friend and I were also propositioned to go on a private yacht and snort coke that night by some random guys on the sidewalk.  It was an interesting night.


On Relationships

- Men: let women be women.  Understand we're going to be dumb and emotional sometimes.  Women: let men be men.  Allow them to watch their sports, drink their beer, hang out with their (sometimes idiot) guy friends freely and without nagging or pouting on your part.  So long as you're still the first priority most of the time, it shouldn't be a problem.

- Do not ever make your entire life about one person.  All relationships will eventually run into major problems and a few bad things could happen because of your mistake:  you've alienated your friends when you've chosen to put one person far above all others, which leads to resentment among everybody else who cares about you.  Plus, it's really f'n annoying to everybody else when all you can talk about is your special person.  True fact.  And also, if the time comes to split up, your life is left in shambles when that person leaves you.

- Do not, under any circumstances, have a long term affair with somebody who is married and living with their spouse.  It never turns out well.  (For the record, it's not me who did this.  I know of others who have and the ending is never happy for anybody involved.)


On Children

- They will destroy everything.  It's best to not consider new furniture until they are all at least school-aged.  If you have an expensive LCD TV, do not connect the Wii to it, and do not allow any play around it (especially involving baseball bats).  Expect extensive damage to walls if you have young children.  Designate a single area for toys, and do not allow them elsewhere in the house, or you will find it nearly impossible to keep clean.

- Only invest in toys that have extensive re-play value.  Most of the toys sold in stores will only be played with once, and then forgotten forever.  The best and only toys that my kids have never grown bored of are: blocks, bikes, and video game consoles...because when a game gets boring, you can just buy a new one.

- If you leave a spray bottle of cleaner unattended for 30 seconds, a child will find it and squirt themselves in the face.  I keep all of my chemicals far up and away from the kids' reach.  But this has happened several times with my back turned while cleaning, resulting in an unpleasant experience by both parent and child...with the child's head shoved under cold running sink water to flush the eyes out.  I have since made it a rule to never have cleaner out unless it is physically in my hand at all times.

- Learn to deal with your children's comments and actions with grace.  They will ask strangers why their teeth are yellow.  They might hug and kiss strangers in the supermarket.  They will ask strangers and family alike why they are so fat. 



Other

- Don't put your nose up to a bottle of hair dye and inhale deeply.  It may smell like flowers from a distance but a huge whiff will give you a nasty and painful surprise.

- Wear latex gloves when you're cutting up peppers.  There is nothing worse than doing it with naked hands and then rubbing an eye or any other body part that is sensitive (yep, even those parts), and remembering after it's too late that you have capsaicin under your fingernails.

- If your spouse is a police officer, always ensure that you have disinfectant at home.  They might need to soak their HIV infected handcuffs in it.

Back from the Dead

Over a week ago, my computer charger decided to crap out on me.  And rather than spend another $80 on a new charger as we have twice before over the past year...I decided to spend $15 on eBay for a new one.  But then I had to wait for it.  Until a couple days ago, my only access to the Internet was through my iPod Touch.  It was a sad, tedious existence that I lived during that entire week and I'm glad to be back.

I see that I have lost one follower during my absence.  To those of you who remain, I thank you.  I thank you for never giving up on me and keeping vigil for my return.  Since I know you all must have missed me terribly.  You now have my permission to resume happiness in your lives.

Surprisingly, nothing dreadfully exciting happened while I was away living my partially unconnected life.  But I have an idea for a blog post that I'll be working on (and hopefully publishing) tonight, so check back later!

Love,
Rachel

Editorial Retraction

 In my last post, I referred to my new e-friend as "Awkward".  Said friend has corrected my mistake, and will now go by "Mr. Awkward", or rather, "Mr. Wow".

I Love Hotels, Lost, and Beer.

I drove two hours to Chicopee, Massachusetts yesterday evening to spend a little kid-free time with my husband, who is away for the week for Air Force Reserve drills.  The military puts him up in a Hampton Inn when he's called away, so we spent the night out at dinner, then snuggled and watched Family Guy on the HD TV while playing Jenga and drinking beers for about 3 hours before he passed out.  I layed in bed and started a book my new e-friend "Awkward" recommended to me called City of Thieves (which I am thoroughly enjoying so far). When it was 1:30AM and very much so time to pass out, I ended up heading over to the second queen bed...because my husband is a selfish, evil bed stealer and always makes his way into the very center of the mattress.  I'm somebody who needs a lot of room to myself when I'm trying to sleep.  I love to cuddle when I'm awake, but when I'm trying to sleep I need my own space so GTFO.

The ride home today was pretty uneventful...other than the time when I was coming off one highway to switch to another and to my dismay there was only about 300 feet before the entrance to the next highway, and whoever designed those roads decided that that amount of notice was sufficient to clear 4 lanes of highway to get to the other side and onto the ramp in time.  I cleared 3/4, and was trying to make my move onto the ramp when this deep red SUV took its time and didn't speed up or slow down to let me in, and they went happily on their way onto the next highway while I helplessly continued on the same one until I could get off and turn around.  Before we departed completely though, the strong urge to flip off the other driver consumed me.  But then I realized that it wasn't entirely their fault.  They were, afterall, driving a reasonable speed and it wouldn't be fair of me to expect them to slam on their brakes to let me in ahead of them.  They probably weren't the idiot engineers who designed the road.  So instead, I stared the driver down and shook my fist at him.  He stared back for a moment with his lips slightly parted and his face frozen in shock.

When I was about an hour away from home, I noticed a car parked on the side of the highway with its emergency blinkers on.  Beside it, was a man (or a short haired woman) kneeling before two crosses with huge displays of flowers...the one on the left was a smaller cross, and had a teddy bear placed lovingly beside it.  "Oh, God.  Oh, my God."  I said to myself aloud, "That's so sad."  And then I started crying.  Which is not a great thing to do when you're flying down the highway at 75 miles per hour.  And then I changed the song on my iPod, because I quickly decided that "I Like to F*ck" by Tila Tequila and Hot Rod was grotesquely inappropriate for the situation. 

I arrived back in town and swung by the drive-through liquor store (a blessing from God, I say) for a 6 pack of Miller Light to enjoy during Lost tonight (and also to drown away my lonliness).  The young gentleman at the register was a Tom Green look-a-like that I recognized because on my birthday I had gone in to buy some spirits and he remarked that it was his birthday too, and did I know that October 5th is the most common birthday in the world?  Indeed, I did not.  And when I got home, I Googled it, because my husband said the guy only said that because he was hitting on me.  Well, it turns out that it's a true fact.  It's speculated that Oct. 5th is the most common day for babies to be born, because it's approximately 40 weeks after New Years.  So I suppose we all can guess when and why I came into existence.

The employee looked at my identification and said "Oh my God!...that's my birthday..." "I know," I interrupted, "you were the one who told me our birthday is the most common in the world.  I went home and Googled it, and you're right!"  Then he said how he knows 6 people that share our special day, and I said I knew none.  "Well...now you do." he said as he smiled and handed me my receipt.

Lost and Found

My husband is constantly losing or forgetting things.  And I don't mean that this happens occasionally, it's as if he perpetually suffers from a chronic case of early onset Alzheimer's.  So when I got a phone call from him at 5AM this morning, I wasn't the least bit surprised.  He had forgotten his military ID after he was already 45 minutes into his 2 hour drive to Air Force Reserve drill.  Not only had he forgotten it, but he had no idea where he had put it.  The other day he had taken it out of his wallet to go on the nearby Navy base to use the gym.  Thankfully, I found it almost instantly, on top of the TV in our bedroom.

Since this type of thing typically happens several times per week, I've become so accustomed to searching for things that I normally just crack a joke about how I honestly have no idea how he ever made it through life before he had me to help him find his shit.  But at 5 o'clock in the morning, I'm a little less amused by his antics.  Also when, a couple weeks ago, he was frantically searching for his shoe polish and recruited my help while LOST was on (which is really the only time every week when I demand silence and complete avoidance of distractions).  Oh, the cruel irony.

The worst part about that was that I was constantly moving his shoe polishing kit up into his closet.  He had been leaving it behind a bookshelf in our room, and everytime I moved it I nagged that he really needed to keep it up...in case one of the kids finds it and gets into it.  Well, guess who was right?  Men, this is exactly why you must listen to your women. 

He forgets things so often, that I told him that I'm going to have a custom notepad made for him.  You know those pre-printed shopping checklists that you can buy, the ones that have food items that nearly everybody regularly purchases on routine stops at the supermarket...eggs, milk, bread?  Well, I plan on having something similar printed for him, except that every page will have a list of everything he needs to bring with him daily to work.  Radio, gun, cuffs, badge, etc.  I wasn't fully joking.  I am seeing a serious need for this. 

I just don't understand it!  It's not that our home is a mess, or that he's disorganized or irresponsible.  After being in the military for six years, he's developed some nearly OCD habits when it comes to his possessions.  He's always had a little box that he keeps in his closet on the shelf where he puts his small but important things.  But sometimes, he sets things down somewhere without thinking about it...and then, it's either gone forever or at least until I can find it for him.  He's lucky that I'm always pretty good at finding stuff.

It's even a little fun sometimes.  There's nothing like searching for something, and the thrill you get when you finally find it.  It's a little adrenaline rush:  some people need to go skydiving to get their kicks...but for now, I'll just stick to random routine find-the-lost-thing hunts around the house.

Bourse.

My husband has two things that he is constantly nagging me about:  my purse, and my iPod.  He hates my iPod because some days I spend more time with it than I do with him.  I love to blast my music while I'm cleaning, or cooking...before I put in my earphones I always tell him that I'm unavailable and if he needs me then he will have to tap me on the shoulder because I can't hear a thing outside of my own musical world.  It's my way of taking a break from the kids, and sometimes him, while not physically leaving the house.  I also like to use the Kindle app to read in bed (since my Kindle is not backlit), and I play word games on it.  Not gonna lie, I do some farming too (Tap Farm and Zombie Farm).

So anyway, I was tagged by Shahirah at Colours of my Life to reveal the contents of my purse.  Truth be told, I'm not even sure what's in my bag right now.  My purse is kind of like a sinkhole, things go in and sometimes they never return.  It often takes me 10 minutes of digging before I can find what I'm looking for in it, unless I dump out the entire thing.  My husband hates my purse because he has an even more difficult time finding things.  If he asks where something is and I reply "Oh, it's in my purse", I'm entertained with that look of dread on his face...fear in his eyes, and a groan coming from his mouth.

So, if you really want to see this, read on.  The pictures suck and I took them with the items on top of a clean, but wrinkled pillow case.  Deal with it!

 These are coins in a ziplock bag that the Coinstar machine rejected the other day.  I took Teagan to go cash in her money jar because she wanted to buy a Nintendo DS Lite with all of the coins she's saved over the years.  These coins include some foreign currency as well as some old silver quarters.

 

My beloved Kindle.  It has this snazzy case to keep it safe in my bag.  If I didn't have the case, the Kindle would be stained with makeup like almost everything else in there...thanks to a rogue eyeshadow palette that escaped from my makeup bag and got all over everything.

Makeup bag.  Not much to see here.  I've got the usual mascara, eyeshadow, lip gloss, etc in there.

 Random craft supplies.  Scissors and some baby blue lace.  I tend to throw things in my bag that I don't want the kids messing with, so there can be some really weird things in there sometimes.

 Vera Bradley wallet. 

 More makeup...the eyeshadow and liner have made their way out of the zippered pouch.  The square is a mini kit that includes basically all of the essentials, and it's too big to fit in the pouch.

Another random craft supply.  Purple fabric dye!

Hygienic items.  For the men: why yes, that is a tampon.  As you can see, I've also got a deodorant and two different kinds of hand sanitizer.  You can never be too OCD careful.

Assorted credentials.  To the left, you will see my official Skywarn Weather Spotter card.  Yep, I am allowed to report weather conditions to the National Weather Service.  I had to go to a class to get it (though I basically already knew everything that was taught anyway).  I'm kind of a science nerd, and I love studying meteorology.  On the right is my official DIVA card.  I had to sit in a booth at Chuck-e-Cheese to get this.  It's not the best picture of me, but how about you go get one and we'll see how great yours comes out, Nucka.

Pens.

Scraps of paper and candy wrappers.

Two dimes, a miniature stapler, sea shells, Kindle plug, sand shovel, Lightening McQueen toy car,  and my keys. 

Well, I have to say that it's actually not so bad right now.  But then I just dumped it out and cleaned it out last week.  I try to do that every once in awhile.

I tag Katie, Cheryl and Helena!