Today's Project

Look! I made a tote bag with a Koopa Troopa. The tote has a nifty pocket inside. Sorry for the picture quality, it's from my cell phone since I'm too lazy to use my digi at the moment.

I also made this red tote, and last night I made these patches...I haven't decided which one to put on it yet. What do you think?

Sonic Boom (aka Satan's scream) Pt. 2

I promised a reader yesterday that I would write about my results with my new Sonic BOOM Alarm Clock but unfortunately I didn't get around to it last night. So here we go! Yesterday morning was my first true experience with the alarm, which I now like to call The Bastard on my Nightstand (and his Obnoxious Siamese Twin Under my Memory Foam Bed Topper).

The Bastard jolted me awake promptly at 7:15AM and into a state of fear and confusion. I was disoriented for several seconds, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. And then I felt the bed vibrating strongly under me, glanced at the clock, and remembered. I pressed the snooze button and got another 10 minutes of sleep before I was assaulted again, but the second time wasn't nearly as terrifying as the first. This is actually mildly concerning...if the shock of the experience is what wakes me up, will it still work once I've had weeks or months to get used to it?

The product description on ThinkGeek.com describes it to be louder than a jackhammer. While it certainly was not like being woken gently to the sound of angels singing in chorus, I' having a hard time believing that it actually is noisier than a jackhammer. Maybe I just haven't heard many jackhammers in my life.

TLDR: yes, it works well. Aside from another person physically beating me in the nose and eyes until I wake up, it's nearly impossible to get me up until I'm ready, and the Sonic Boom worked beautifully. I highly recommend it.

My future grandchildren: Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi.

When my two older kids like a video game, they become obsessed beyond help and their entire lives revolve around the character(s). Months ago, my husband was playing his way through Resident Evil 4 and by the time he had been playing for a couple days in a row, he was asking our 6 (now 7) year old daughter for tips. She wouldn't actually play the game herself because "it's too scary", but she would go on YouTube and watch the walkthrough videos.

Eventually she memorized where every trap was and where all of he hidden inventory items were located. She was able to tell whomever was playing exactly how to get through a difficult part. Teagan wanted a Resident Evil themed birthday party, and she wanted to watch the movies. She and her 3 year old brother ran around the house pretending to be Leon and Ashley, slaying their horde of reanimated plush animals (which were totally unconvincing as zombies if you ask me).

Currently the games of choice are anything in Nintendo's Mario series, which I am more than okay with since 1) I tend to believe that Mario is more appropriate for young children than blowing the faces off of chainsaw wielding zombies and 2) because Mario is already close to my heart since I grew up playing the games myself.

These days, I get woken up early by my 3 year old son Johnny with him jumping on my skull screaming "MOMMY COME PLAY Wiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!" This usually means one of two things: he wants me to play New Super Mario Bros or the classic Super Mario Bros 3 with him as a team, or he wants to watch me play Super Mario Galaxy since it's a little too difficult for him. He's becoming a very skilled player. I imagine within a few more months he'll be like those Asian child video game prodigies and be able to beat the entire game in five minutes like this person.

I'm planning a Mario Bros themed birthday for him in March, I plan to make a Goomba pinata. About an hour ago I was standing in the kitchen filling a glass of water when I noticed the kids running around pretending to be the characters. My daughter came sliding into the kitchen and says "Mom, guess what? When I have kids I'm going to name them Mario and Luigi. Is that a good idea?" "Oh of course!" I say. Then I turn to Johnny and ask him what he plans to name his children. "Yoshi." he replies.

The "let's not pretend this isn't what it is" blog contest

Starting a new blog is like performing at a comedy club without an audience. It's like sharing a YouTube video that nobody ever comments on. It's like bringing a casserole to Thanksgiving that nobody even tries (this happened to me once. I brought my famous baked mac n cheese that everybody raves about to an extended family gathering one year and other than myself nobody even bothered to taste it!).

I need readers and I am not patient. So if you're not going to come on your own free will then I'm going to bribe you. Winner will be chosen at random (though I'm not going to lie, if you hang around my blog more than others you may have a better chance at winning). The prize is a $20 Amazon.com gift certificate.

- Mandatory first entry: Comment on this post with the name of your favorite book.
- + 1 entry: Trackback to this post.
- + 1 entry: Become a member of my blog on Google Friendconnect.

Contest ends Feb. 15th, 2010 so you have plenty of time to fall in love with me until then. The winner will be announced here on the blog and also contacted by email. Ready set go!

EDIT: Contest is now closed for new entries, so I have disabled comments on this post. I will announce and notify the winner within 24 hours!

You don't own alarm clock, alarm clock owns you.

I just tested out my brand new Sonic BOOM Alarm Clock (while already awake) and I have to say, I'm feeling confident about this one. I'm assuming this product was originally designed to wake the dead deaf, considering that not only is it SUPER loud (the maximum volume has higher decibels than a jackhammer), but it also comes with a nifty vibrating attachment that you're supposed to place under your mattress or pillow...and it shakes the hell out of you until you wake up. (Personally I would avoid putting it under my pillow since even through a 4 inch memory foam pad the vibrations are surprisingly strong. I might worry about possible brain damage if placed too close to the head.)

You see, I am the kind of person who can literally sleep through an earthquake (true story). I've slept through smoke detectors going off (bad news for me should I ever find myself alone in the house while sleeping during a fire). My attempts to wake up earlier than normal are futile, I set several alarms to go off at different times and I sleep through them all. And not only am I nearly impossible to wake up, but I am also the definition of "not a morning person".

I bought the alarm after searching for "loudest alarm clock" and read the rave reviews from people who were also difficult to rouse. I take the alarm for my first official test run tomorrow morning. I'll keep my empty audience updated on the result.

The Stop, Drop, and Pout & Captain Noodlelegs

My favorite unnecessary behavior from my two year old boy is what I like to call The Stop, Drop, and Pout...or the variation, Captain Noodlelegs. These separate actions are very similar and perhaps identical to the untrained eye. Although they both fall into the category "Silent Tantrum", they are different.

The Stop, Drop, and Pout
This is most often performed by the child immediately following the parent's commands of "no", "don't do that", or "don't hit/throw". The toddler drops to his knees, smashes his forehead into the floor, and wraps his arms over his head...akin to the "duck and cover" position that was popular during the Cold War.

Captain Noodlelegs
This behavior is commonly observed when the child is being confronted with a person, place, or thing that they are uncomfortable with. Though this type of situation is not pleasant for the child, it does not call for a full-on tantrum or even crying, and so the child's natural defense mechanism is to instantly (though temporarily) become paralyzed from the waist down. Often, once the child has fallen to the floor he or she will then assume the final position explained in Stop, Drop, and Pout.

Conditions must be just right for Stop, Drop and Pout or Captain Noodlelegs to happen. One or more (sometimes all) of the following is necessary:

- Parent is with child in a very public place (mainly grocery store, doctor's office).
- Parent has both arms full with other, especially heavy things and is unable to carry the child.
- Parent is already running late to an appointment and is trying to get child ready to go.

Salt + Pepper = Paprika

It's 1AM. I'm up with my two year old who refuses to go back to sleep, and to keep him from waking my husband I have been playing Blues Clues streamed from Netflix to our Xbox 360 for the past two hours.

I was first introduced to Blues Clues back when my daughter was a toddler. She was never a huge fan of the show though, and so I never payed much attention to the startling facts of the program. For instance, in the end of one episode, "Blues Clues" lead Steve to the kitchen counter, where Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper are waiting to introduce their newborn condiment: Paprika.

And then I began to ponder the breeding logistics of mineral and crushed seed shakers. Or why the offspring wasn't born as some sort of salt-pepper hybrid, like the mixed shaker at Subway. When a Caucasian person has a child with an African American, they end up with a mulatto...not an East Indian.

Was Paprika adopted? If so, did they get to pick the name? Are Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper the Brangelinas of children's programming?

When kids wake up before their parents...

This morning I woke up to approximately 2 gallons of tap water dumped all over my downstairs hallway floor, as well as in the kitchen. The mess was cleaned up using 1 queen sized blanket, and six adult sized towels.

Not only were my 2 and 3 year old boys considerate enough to wash the floors, they also took it upon themselves to transfer half of the toys from their upstairs bedrooms to the stairs and livingroom. This was clearly done so that later on in the day I would not need to carry playthings down the stairs for them.